First Relationship This Century!
It's been quite a while since I wrote anything for my site, therefore, I thought I'd start 2017 by saying, I am in a relationship! Finally a real relationship, my first this century. There is a bit of a catch though... and it wouldn't be me without one.
It is a long distance relationship and before I go further let me roll back a few weeks.
The Search Begins
Over Christmas I had a couple of weeks off work and started trying to figure out how I could get out of this rut of singleness I have been living in, for what must be close to 20 years! I therefore started installing several apps to assist in this regard.
I looked at Tinder, I liked the concept, but I haven't given up on finding a Christian lady to be my wife and there just wasn't anyone in my area of interest to me.
Next I looked at CrossPaths, basically Tinder for Christians. Again the concept was ok, its a simple swipe left or right and a match will allow the conversation to start. Well if Tinder didn't have people in my area then CrossPaths certainly wouldn't. I expanded my search world-wide but soon got tired of endlessly swiping with no real hope of a match from a world-wide selection.
Then I remembered Christian Dating for Free (CDFF), I had been a member previously. I filled out my profile half-heartedly, as I had wasted far too many hours on Christian dating sites in the past and I wasn't really expecting much. Once through the sign-up process I was off searching for my significant other, my soul mate or any other cliché you wish to insert.
I also rejoined Christian Connection and paid for a months subscription, then remembered why I left. Firstly no app that I could find, then the ladies looked all too familiar. Surely there must be some new Christian women since I was last a member?
CDFF started to produce winks and messages from the ladies. Great., Fantastic... Oh. Kenya, Philippines, Kenya, Philippines, Uganda, Mexico,Indonesia, Malaysia. Well you get the picture. This got me thinking though. I was prepared to search world-wide on CrossPaths, why not CDFF?
I also started thinking, I am 43, I want to start a family of my own, I need to find someone of child bearing age who is willing to date me, without considering me a dirty old man. Well that rules out pretty much all Western women! Even when I tried to stay within, what I consider to be the reasonable 32 - 40 bracket. The lack of responses was disheartening.
Now, these Asian ladies all seem very attractive and they are approaching me, but what could we possibly have in common and how could it possibly work?
At around the same time a friend of mine asked me if I would consider looking into meeting a Filipina girl? He then rattled off some of the benefits and this gave me that final confidence to at least start talking and see where things would lead.
- Women from the Philippines are extremely attractive
- They speak English
- There are a lot of Christians
- They don't tend to care so much about age gaps
- They are family oriented
Step of Faith
I did a bit of research into the Philippines and discovered they all seem to speak excellent English and Christianity is the predominant religion. That's a good start we will be able to communicate and we have our faith as a base on which to develop a friendship.
My friend also sent through a blog posting talking about what to watch out for when talking to Filipina girls, the common scams, the cultural differences etc.
My search criteria was quickly narrowed to exclusively search for ladies from the Philippines. No harm in looking right? Age range? Let me think... 26 - 36, seems reasonable, to me at least.
Good grief, there's so many how do I choose and where do I start?
27th December
I started talking with a lovely pastor lady - 34 years old. We talked a little about her situation and life in the Philippines and we were having a pleasant conversation, but a spark was missing.
At the same time I received a Wink and a Message from Jo - 27 years old. I replied, as I try to do for all messages, and instantly I spotted a sense of humour from this lady. She asked me if I was on Facebook, which I am, though my age at the time was set to 78 and my location info was wrong. Well as you can imagine this was a source of much ribbing from Jo. Was I 43 or 78? Anyway we connected on Facebook and I installed the app on my Phone to chat more easily. Minutes later, messenger starts ringing. Woah keen! I'll answer, rude not to after all. Moments later "Jo is requesting video"... err ok.
Well needless to say we hit it off. Jo has a great sense of humour similar to mine and being a nurse she can hold her own very well. From their our conversations became regular. More and more I found myself thinking of her. Catching myself smiling each time the white light began to blink on my phone, indicating a new Facebook message.
By the time New Years came around the conversation seemed to be none stop. My thumb was aching, where I had previously severed a tendon in a motorcycle accident in 2007, due to all the messaging. I was enjoying myself and I could tell Jo was too. I could also tell she was holding back, nervous to step out too far, who could blame her? It is easy to have fun and chat, when there really isn't anything stopping me from simply blocking and leaving as soon as I get bored or the relationship has a slight hiccup.
I needed to do something to show I was serious about a relationship and getting to know Jo more. We started talking about a vacation and within a couple of weeks my flight was booked and I will be off to meet Jo and her family. Not only that, it looks like I will be attending the Wedding of Jo's sister! Well if you are going to jump in, you might as well go all in after all!
Moving fast and I like it!
I am extremely excited to meet Jo and her family. Modern technology has made communicating over long distance affordable and intimate to a degree. You can't beat that face to face time together though. I get very frustrated when an anticipated voice or video call becomes choppy and I spend the conversion repeating myself or asking Jo to repeat herself, it really takes the shine off the conversation. Thanks to modern internet speeds this is less frequent than it might have been 5 years ago, but no less frustrating when it happens.
Things are going well between us and we both feel a sense of excitement for our impending meeting and a sense of impatience for the wait in between. The time will be here soon though and I will be jetting off on a new adventure, venturing out of the U.K for the first time by myself and with God's blessing into a lasting relationship.
We are both praying the visit goes well and you never know... my relationship status could be changing very soon! It's fast but it feels right and it feels good.